The Protectorate of New New Cayfarrier Kiesistan is a massive, efficient nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, irreverence towards religion, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.073 billion New New Cayfarrier Kiesistanians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Law & Order, although Industry, Defense, and Environment are also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 11.4%.

The very strong New New Cayfarrier Kiesistanian economy, worth 63.2 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration, Woodchip Exports, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is 58,938 Dollars, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 220,894 per year while the poor average 10,995, a ratio of 20.1 to 1.

Arthritic surgeons with tremulous fingers reassure patients that they are in safe hands, the New New Cayfarrier Kiesistan Automotive Racing Series draws millions of spectators annually while those near the tracks complain about the noise, Mr Happy's Funland has just been named New New Cayfarrier Kiesistan's new capital, and Leader has just been declared ruler of New New Cayfarrier Kiesistan in an international press conference. Crime is moderate, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. New New Cayfarrier Kiesistan's national animal is the Swan, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

New New Cayfarrier Kiesistan is ranked 100,336^th in the world and 965^th in Artificial Solar System for Most Corrupt Governments, with 12.83 kickbacks per hour.